This blog is about love despite a prenatal diagnosis, grief & healing after baby loss, hope, faith, pregnancy after loss and Hydrops Fetalis awareness.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

5 Months in Heaven

I am a mother who wears maternity pants… No, I’m not pregnant and I don’t have a brand new baby in my arms… I delivered my silent baby at 24 weeks and 3 days, 5 months ago today. Three weeks earlier, I was told my baby would most likely die inside of me. This is what explains my pants with elastics all around my waist.

If you are reading these words and like me don’t have your precious baby in your arms or you have received a fatal diagnosis, I share your pain… I hope you are surrounded by love and people who care as you have to go on and face life without your baby.

“Lord, have mercy, because I am in misery. My eyes are weak from so much crying, and my whole body is tired from grief… you heard my prayer when I cried out to you for help.”

Because of God’s love and grace, I am able to write these words. He gave me a wonderful family and put on my path amazing friends that supported me from the start, I am so grateful for them all! Like David in Psalm 31: 9 and 22, I cried out and still cry out sometimes to God, for His comfort. He is the One who carries me through this journey of grief, this journey of being a mother to a baby that I never met eye to eye and who is safe, in Jesus arms in Heaven.

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"Children are a gift from God, babies are a reward." Ps 127.3