This blog is about love despite a prenatal diagnosis, grief & healing after baby loss, hope, faith, pregnancy after loss and Hydrops Fetalis awareness.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Day 4-5-6 Capture Your Grief

 Day 4 -Treasured Item-

Lily's Footprint:

With Cystic Hygroma and Hydrops, I was not too sure what to expect when I would give birth to my baby.  I also somehow knew that some people are not always promp to think pre-term babies are also beautiful and thought I absolutely needed to have something to remember Lily I could show off without the fear of unkind comments.  I also never took the footprints of any of my babies right at birth and  some I don't have at all!
The edema was so severe that we were able to get Lily's left footprint only, but I am so thankful I have this one and only 2.7 cm print.

Baby Memory Book "Dreams Of You":

I enjoyed and loved writting all I could about my babies growing up!  I looked and looked for a Baby Book that would not remind me of all I was missing on with Lily but rather would enable me to write down and cherish  memories we had made during the short life she had here on earth.  My new awesome friend told me about Sufficient Grace Ministries where I found the precious item I was hoping for.  It is so perfect, I love it!

Ombilical Cord Clip:  I kept all my babie's clips and forgot to take Lily's before leaving the hospital.  A week after, I went to the funeral home where Lily's body was and asked for hte clip.  I almost cried when they handed it back to me.

Pictures:  I took tons of pictures while pregnant (with the help of my 13 year old) and God allowed my brave and loving sister to be there to take photos when I gave birth to Lily.  I cherish having photos to remember this journey with Lily in our lives.

Memories are important with any one of my children that are here with me because they grow up too fast.
Memories of my child who soars are important because this is all I have left of her.
Day 5: -Memorial-

I made a collage of picture for this one.

Memorial Card:

Jeremiah 29:11-  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

When we had the memorial service for Lily, I had made a card with that Bible verse that I still hold on to.  We also made a Memorial Video (youtube:Lily Hope) (I will try to look into adding the link!)

Lily Garden:

We knew the "tradition" calls for flowers at a memorial.  We didn't want flowers that would die and never grow again so my husband had the idea to suggest bulbs of any kind, but if possible lilies.  Co-workers and alot of friends and family that came to the memorial service gave us everything we needed to plant a Lily garden in our backyard.  Many agreed and told me afterwards that this was a good idea.

Lily's Name Photos:

I have a sweet friend who collects pictures of her son's name.  As soon as I saw this, I knew I wanted to start an album of  Lily's name photos.  I don't get to take pictures of Lily growing up and taking pictures of her name makes her real and shows how an important member of our family she truly was.  I included a beautiful picture of Lily's name that my friend Jenn took and sent me.

Lily's Grave Site:

Since we haven't been able to get a headstone yet, I wrote Lily's name today with colorful fall leaves.

Day 6:-What Not To Say-

I was not sure I wanted to share these words.  I was afraid people who said them would think I was resentful or wanted to get back at them.  I will never let anyone know who said these things to me because it is not important.  What is important is that the Bible says that we all make mistakes and that controlling the things we say is very important. (James 3: 1-12)  I am the first to admit I have said many stupid, hurtful things in my life, and most of the time, I did not intened to hurt feelings.  I am sharing as a reminder to everyone including mysef, that we have to be careful at all times about what we say, especially to someone grieving as this person is in a very fragile place in her life.


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"Children are a gift from God, babies are a reward." Ps 127.3