This blog is about love despite a prenatal diagnosis, grief & healing after baby loss, hope, faith, pregnancy after loss and Hydrops Fetalis awareness.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Day 1-2-3 Capture Your Grief

This October for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Carly Marie Dudley created and is hosting a beautiful event called  CAPTURE YOUR GRIEF 2012.  This is a special and wonderful project for parents who have experrienced losing their baby to speak about  their short but precious lives, honour and remember them.  This is a unique way to document and share our grief and healing.  This is also to raise awareness for pregnancy and infant loss.
So finally, I am taking some time to include what I have already shared, the first 3 days of October.

 Day 1:  Sunrise 6:44 am Qc, Canada

That one, I was looking at it like a big challenge!  I had no idea at what time the sun was rising at this time of  the year since I have a tendancy to try to sleep or should I say stay in bed as late as I possibly can!  So I set my watch to "wake me up" at sunrise and put my camera by the window the night before.  I think I was excited about this, I woke up before my watch ever beeped!  Well, that morning was a cloudy one, I snaped a shot and went back to bed thinking it was too bad that it was not a memorable sunrise.  It even reminded me about how cloudy and gray the last days had been for me.
But the beautiful bright colors of the fall leaves are like God's promises I hold on everyday, tying to make it through on cloudy, rainy days. Jeremiah 29:11

God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never forget you."  Hebrews 13:5

Day 2: -Self Portrait, Before Loss-
On this picture, I was very pregnant with my 5th child who was born very much alive and healthy. With every pregnancy, I have always dreaded coming home with empty arms, and maybe thinking if I ignored this awfull reality, it would never happen to me. Last April, I lost my 6th baby and came home with empty arms and a broken heart.  Even if I do everything right and healthy, control is just an illusion, the truth is, we don't choose our blessings, we don't choose our hardships. ...In sickness and in death, we are helpless without Christ... "This is Grace" Matt Hammitt

Day 3:-Self Portrait, After Loss-
This picture was taken a little over a month after giving birth to Lily. My first lily flower had just bloomed in our Lily garden. I remember thinking of Lily healed and well in Heaven to try to hide my pain when I had to smile for pictures.  I was still a mother to living children who needed me to smile and who truly made me want to smile. This grief journey has been a mix of  tears and smiles because our lives were still going on.  I have alot to be grateful for and this helps me smile now...

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"Children are a gift from God, babies are a reward." Ps 127.3