This blog is about love despite a prenatal diagnosis, grief & healing after baby loss, hope, faith, pregnancy after loss and Hydrops Fetalis awareness.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Remembering Lily this Christmas

Sweet Lacey...  The other day my sweet girl announced: "I will draw a Lily picture mommy!"  This was a few days after I had realized I was not going to be pregnant for Christmas, I had quite a few hard days there.  When I looked at Lacey's artwork, I thought this was surely the most beautiful Christmas decoration I would hang this year!  I still wonder why she chose to draw a rainbow?  I didn't dare to ask her because I like to think a rainbow baby is part of our future and the fact that she wrote Lily's name (with great application) and chose to draw a rainbow right beside reminds me of the hope I have for a Rainbow in my womb and in my arms!  She also draw a candle with Hope written on it like the one we have on Lily's shelf... She draw a lily flower and a Christmas wreath with a candy cane.  I just cherish this piece of art and most of all my talented girl!

In this post I also wanted to share some ideas to help remember our little ones at Christmas Season.   Whether our families count 1 or 2 parents with one or many children, the loss of our babies leaves an empty place around the table, an empty space where their Christmas stocking should be hanging.  At my house, when the time comes to decorate our Christmas tree, two little hands wanting to help will always be missing.  All my children receive a tree ornament every year, to think that they will all be represented every year in our Christmas tree, except for Lily, because she is not here with us, just feels almost like a punishment!  A lot of baby loss mothers (parents) make up new traditions, traditions that include their child in Heaven and states that their child is not forgotten, they always have a place in their hearts.  So, here are some ideas to recreate traditions after the loss of a child:

 1.  Create a Christmas candle for your child - decorate a pillar candle or decorate a jar to hold a tea light candle.

 2.  Make/Buy a Christmas keepsake and give to another baby loss mummy, include their child's name.
 3.   Find a way to take a Christmas photo of your child.

 4.   Make/Buy a Christmas decoration for your child - Make a Christmas stocking for your child. Encourage family and friends to make Christmas cards, drawings etc., to place into the stocking on Christmas Day.
5.  Buy a gift for a charity, for a child the same age as your child would be

6.Make a Christmas scrap-booking page for your child

7.   Write a poem /Finding a Christmas poem or song that speaks to your heart

8.  Make an "in memory" Christmas Card, either to keep or to send to someone special.
9.  Bring a Christmas ornament or memento at your child's grave/memorial/special place, take a picture.

10. Write a long Christmas card to someone who has helped in your grief

11.  Make Christmas cookies and decorate with the first letter of you child's name. 

12.  Perform a random act of kindness for a stranger.

Original ideas from Xavier's mother, Robyna May.

Our Christmas card, stocking hook, and tree don't need to be empty from our children's memories,  I will let my love for my precious daughter shine this Christmas, just like the love I have for my other children.

I also really like what you can find here:

1 comment:

"Children are a gift from God, babies are a reward." Ps 127.3