This blog is about love despite a prenatal diagnosis, grief & healing after baby loss, hope, faith, pregnancy after loss and Hydrops Fetalis awareness.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

My Easter Lily

Last year, I came home at around 6:30 am on Easter morning.  Only  a few hours earlier, I had given birth to my precious Lily and within that same period of time I had to part with her, and let go of her lifeless and damaged, so very damaged little body.  That morning, sitting on the couch, I grabbed my daughter's baby doll, squeezed it in my arms and cried, I cried so hard...  I went to bed with an empty womb but I swear I could still feel her.  My arms were aching, my heart was broken in thousands of pieces.

Waking up this morning, my arms still ache, I miss her so much.

This morning is the morning the tomb was found empty, Jesus had risen, He had been stronger than death.  Two days before, He had died, suffered and paid the price for my sins. He died and rose to give me hope.  He welcomed my Lily Home last year, some time between Friday night and Saturday morning.  She is safe now and healthy, oh how I long to see and hold her again!...

Even though the dates are not the same, Easter is still the weekend my child died, the weekend I delivered her and said good bye, the weekend in 2012 where "Empty Womb" rhymed with "Empty Tomb".

I give thanks this year because of the hope I have to see Lily in Heaven again, for the hope and joy that God filled my womb with. Thank you Lord for all your blessings and for the hope you gave to all.

Sunrise, Easter 2013, with a beautiful lily flower, that reminds me of the hope and new Life we have in Christ.

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"Children are a gift from God, babies are a reward." Ps 127.3